Friday, July 31, 2009

Pet me!

The last few days have been frustrating.  I want love and affection.  The ginger-haired dog wants love and affection.  And guess who wins the love and affection from my boyfriend…….the dog!

I’ve observed them closely the last few days.  We usually all sit down on the sofa like a family.  Jim, reclined on the sofa with myself at one end and the dog close by.  Even with me physically closer to his actual body, he still strains to reach and pet the dog.  On most occassions he even goes out of his way to avoid touching any part of me. 

He’s always touches her at night since her bed is on the floor below his side of the bed.  He hardly ever touches me.  Not a night passes where he gives her a loving stroke on the belly before he goes to sleep.  At night he never holds me or tries to get close.  He’s always turned away and hugging his pillow. 

What am I supposed to do?  I’m angry, frustrated and in need to some sort of release. 

About a year ago, I got angry and told him, “You touch the dog more than you touch me!”  And he seemed to respond to that remark.  But 1 year later, it’s back to the same routine of me watching the couple cuddle and touch. 

I’m hungry for attention.  Wanting of physical touch, not in the sexual tense but just everyday guestures that would eminate from a man who loves his woman.  I once was tempted to keep a running tally of instances of petting but I deceided against it because already I knew the dog would out number me 4-fold!  I’m already depressed, I don’t need actual data to prove it. 

I’ve tried everything to catch his attention: sleeping nude, sexy underware, semi-nude household chores, even porn…..yet still I’m left untouched.

I’m really unsure what else I can do…..

The dog just sits at his feet, wags her tail, barks longingly and Jim runs to her.  There were several instances when I wait for him, try to make conservation and I get no response. 

The last few days have left me lost, bitter and in need of companionship.

[Via http://kelela03.wordpress.com]

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