Thursday, July 23, 2009

12. rész (+18) Egy pikáns történet részlete

…és akkor feleségem hanyatt feküdt elém, és nyalatta velem csiklóját, miközben ex férje, az előtte ajkaimmal akcióképessé tett férfiasságát, igyekezett belém tolni.

Aztán egyszercsak sikerült, és ahogy tolta, engem is előre tolt, alig bírtam tartani magam, de számat így is belenyomta ezáltal feleségem puncijába, aki mindeközben élvezve nyögdécselt.

Az ex férj eleinte csak óvatosan járatta bennem férfiasságát, miközben én feleségem csiklóját puszilgattam és nyaldostam.

Majd egyre forróbb lett a hangulat, és az ex férj is egyre jobban belejött élete első, férfival folytatott popó szexbe, és már kissé felgyorsulva dugta a popóm.

Én ezáltal egyre többször, erősebben nyaltam oda a feleségemnek aki már annyira felvolt villanyozva, hogy elkapta fejem, és csak azt mondogatta:

Igen! Igen! Nyaljál, nyaljál, ez az, ahh ahh…

Az ex férj látva volt, zihálón élvező feleségét egyre jobban belémtolta büszkeségét, ami istenien jó érzés volt.

Végül úgy megdugott mint ha csak fizetett volna érte egy útszéli kurva esetén.

Amikor eljutott az erekcióig, hirtelen kivette, lehúzta a gumit, odalépett hozzám, és marokra fogva heves mozdulatokkal igyekezett a csúcsra jutni. Amikor felnyögött, én felemeltem a fejem, és bekaptam a férfiasságát, Ő pedig hosszan élvezett.

Ezek után a feleségem szopogatta tovább, én pedig hátulról elkaptam a feleségem, és úgy megba…tam, ahogy addig sosem.

Azt mondta a feleségem a történtek után, hogy ha ez ennyire feljavítja a szeretkezésünk színvonalát, akkor máskor is szólni fog exférjének, aki mellesleg hétköznapi jóbarátom.

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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The First Coming of Antichrist

This is it. The eye of the media shit storm; after the cultural digestion from the liberal arts programmes and columns but still before the reviews start raining in the ‘official’ verdict. Lars von Triers‘ Antichrist has been a fair while coming, but the great Dane has got the media machine humming to his tune, a maestro of stoking controversy, a grand master of publicity. To borrow the sacrosanct yet divine language befitting of the film I can say I’ve been blessed to see the film, and there is a lot to digest.

Firstly we need to establish some parameters to von Trier’s game, for those are the rules we have to play by.

Don’t ever take anything he says at face value. The hook he has given himself in the promotion of Antichrist is that he is ‘The Best Film Director in the World’ and countless hacks have taken the bait. Even if they all contextualise the statement and the humour in which it was said, the headline remains the same. Bryan Appleyard in the Sunday Times tries to put down von Trier by inventing his own word and denigrating that it as ‘pure undergraduatese.’ The fact that Appleyard continues to play this game on von Triers terms is proof if any that Trier’s declarations are anything but naïve.

A few critics have done a good job at calling von Trier out on this sport, and hats go off to the Guardian’s in-house film-hater-extraordinaire Peter Bradshaw for presciently speculating on the publicity value of von Trier announcing his depression over two years ago. That was the first word I heard of Antichrist, and it is wholly unquestionable that this is a film defined by a nigh chronic depression. It is bleak, unrelenting, and it spirals towards a hysterical ending. It remains firmly in the subjective of the female lead, struggling and failing to break out of a cycle of grief. As she is locked in depression so too is the viewer rooted, shackled to their seats throughout.

In its’ premise Antichrist is easily summarised, and its critics are quick to quip about its blunt symbolism. A husband and wife fall into deep mourning after the tragic death of their child. The ‘She’ is briefly hospitalised, physically debilitated by her loss, while the psychoanalyst ‘He’ carries his loss in a ‘typical’ manner. To tackle her ‘atypical’ mourning, the couple retreat to their isolated cabin, Eden, set deep in an overbearing almost monstrous forest. The husband is blindly convinced that he alone can give active and adequate therapeutic guidance to break his wife out of her depression. Despite promising signs early on, it all goes terribly wrong.

In its weakest guise this is a film about psychotherapy, and films shot from the therapists couch rarely grasp you by the eyeballs. Onscreen discussions on the value of medicated ignorance or the importance of exposure therapy clunk about in a heavy handed way, railroaded through the film by an increasingly insistent husband/therapist. Yet these doubts fade as the folly of this dominant approach slowly unravels, turning instead to a confrontation of cold rationalism against emotional hysteria. Put bluntly it turns into a straight up clash of the sexes.

This is hardly new territory to von Trier and his critics are all too quick to cite his major post-dogme films and the trail of ‘destroyed’ women he has left in his path. Dragging Nicole Kidman through misery on Dogville, driving Björk to eating her own jumper on Dancer in the Dark. While this rather glib trope of ‘dragging women through hell’ might be obvious in these later films, Antichrist draws its conflict from further back in von Trier’s past, harking back to his widely overlooked TV film adaptation of Euripides’ Medea.

A true archetype for the conflict and contrast of the hysterical wife against the coldly rational and distant husband, Medea casts the imbalance of the sexes at the heart of its conflict, and the tensions between the responsibilities of the mother (Medea) against the liberties of the father (Jason). It ends with Medea rejecting the shackles of her maternal role, killing her sons by Jason, and fantastically disappearing on a golden chariot driven by dragons. While von Trier’s Medea doesn’t end quite so fantastically, it keeps the bloody ending and the inner conflict of a woman uncomfortably vulnerable to a cheating husband she still loves remains as the films definitive dynamic.

This very anxiety carries over into Antichrist, driving a personal tragedy deeper into the realms of metaphysical and symbolic horror. Before the film has even been released across Europe discussions are already raging on the pages of the respectable press whether this film is misogynist or not. To boil it down as such is about as complex as speculating if the coin has landed heads or tails. Is the switch on, or off? Does von Trier hate women, or not? Such headbangingly simplistic debate is about the greatest injustice you can do the film, as it does away with the nuance of the personal and the broader issues that von Trier targets in Antichrist.

Equally the excessive violence at the end of the film does not definitively flick this switch on or off. For the media to be endlessly scratching their heads over it is surely to miss the forest for all the trees? In terms of British exhibition this film is unequivocally a milestone in what can be shown on legitimate screens, and some media debate over the role of the BBFC, and what they think about Antichrist, is natural. Yet when it boils down to the usual claptrap of ‘but is it Art?’ and ‘What DOES it take for a film to get banned these days?’ you can’t but worry for the state of educated discussion of such matters. Yes it is shocking, wince worthy, enough to make any human genuinely uncomfortable. But this is just about underlining the horrors that the characters go through. When Oedipus claws his eyes out it isn’t to anti-titillate the audience, it is (arguably) to drum home the horrors he has just realised, to make physical the dramatic revelation of irony that has been building up throughout. This is the school of tragedy von Trier is dealing with. Physical mutilation: par for the course. Deal with it.

Or is it?

The devilish imp von Trier really cannot be trusted, and for all the interviews with director and cast consistently pointing to the sincerity of this production you can’t but wonder what ire he was hoping to stoke up with all of this. He has widely discussed the two edits he had made, the uncut Protestant version and the cut Catholic version, and with his canny producers’ hat on von Trier must have seen this coming. Undoubtedly, but for all of its most extreme moments Antichrist is none the less a tremendously challenging watch, and all the better for it.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

PS

My Little Brother Draws Hentai Porn on His Etch A Sketch 

He masturbates to homemade Etch A Sketch porn everyday. He also writes fan fiction about the girl with pink hair from the Esurance cartoon, Erin Esurance, and the girl from the Progressive commercials, Flo. He has a secret blog about them. It’s disgusting. I discovered it and sabotaged it. Unfortunately he had all the filthy material backed up on a secret external drive that he keeps hidden.

Monday, July 20, 2009

my first blog

i have been a fan of about a hand full of blog’s for some time. i have also been bullied by a crazy ex girlfriend in her blog, so this is my 1st attempt at “blogging”. i will post whatever, when ever. it will more then likely be music, sneaker, art, vandalism, porn, general. “stuffs”. random shit. i am fluent in bad grammar, sarcasm and hating on people. i am sometimes funny. enjoy…

Saturday, July 18, 2009

"Don't take things on here so personally dude."

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Friday, July 17, 2009

Gaya Bercinta 'Nakal' Ala Eva Longoria

Eva Longoria secara blak-blakan membicarakan aktivitas seksnya bersama sang suami, Tony Parker. Tanpa ragu artis cantik ini mengatakan dia sangat suka bila dirinya diikat saat bercinta. Bagi Eva itu adalah hal yang sangat seksi.

Eva mengaku dia adalah orang yang sangat dominan pada saat berada di ranjang. Namun, dia ingin menciptakan suasana baru agar tidak merasa bosan dan jenuh dengan gaya bercintanya. Dia pun tanpa segan mencari tantangan baru agar kehidupan cintanya dengan suaminya itu makin mesra. Sahabat Victoria Beckham ini pun rela bila sang suami mengikatnya saat bercinta.

“Saya tidak akan menolak bila saya diikat dengan scarf atau selendang sutra. Saya suka pria yang mengambil inisiatif lebih dulu. Akan lebih seksi bila kita harus tunduk dengan pria saat bercinta,” kata Eva seperti dikutip dari Now Magazine, Kamis 16 Juli 2009.

Eva mengutarakan hal tersebut pada saat dirinya menghadiri acara talkshow di Amerika Serikat. Acara itu bernama ‘Best Ever Sex Survey of A-list celebs’. Acara itu membahas seputar sensasi kisah kehidupan bercinta para pesohor dunia.

Bintang serial ‘Desperate Housewives’ ini menikah dengan pebasket Tony Parker pada Juli 2007 silam. Sampai saat ini rumah tangga mereka jauh dari gosip miring. Keduanya selalu tampil mesra dan membuat iri pasangan yang lain.

Taleon Goffney, Marc and the Twins Porn Star, Gets 3 Yrs In Prison for Burglary

Taleon Goffney, a porn star known for starring with his twin brother in Marc and the Twins, was sentenced to at least 3 years in prison on Wednesday for using a handsaw and ax to break into stores through their rooftops.

Goffney pleaded guilty to two counts of burglary and two counts of criminal conspiracy. Charges of criminal trespass, receiving stolen property and possession of an instrument of crime were dropped in exchange for his guilty plea. He could have faced up to 40 years in prison if convicted in a trial. “Thank you for your lenience in accepting my plea. These crimes won’t be happening again,” the 27-year-old told the judge.

Goffney was arrested last year after police caught him breaking into a hair salon while his brother Keyontyli Goffney stood as lookout. Keyontyli is also charged but it is unclear if he will accept a plea deal. He is due back in court on August 6.

The Goffney twins have appeared in many online gay porn videos under the names Teyon and Keyon. They appeared together in the Marc and the Twins with porn star Marc Williams.

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